Regrets from 2011: Festival Tennessee, library

“It wouldn’t be New Year’s if I didn’t have regrets”

—William Thomas

There’s something about New Year’s that makes everyone think of fresh starts and new beginnings, as if everything that occurred in the past year will be erased and forgotten.

I’m not much on that kind of thinking. What happened happened and there is no way of changing that. But, like the author of the quote above, I would be lying if I said I did not have regrets.

My regrets, however, are not for my own actions, but for things Maury County missed. The top of the list reads, “Festival Tennessee,” Maury County’s very own mini-Disneyland.

Festival Tennessee sounded like the answer to a long-awaited prayer. In my childhood, many of the dog days of summer were spent floating down the Grizzly River Rampage or rocketing down the steep, watery incline of the log ride. Ever since the death of Opryland at the hands of a megamall, I have been in mourning. When I heard the news of Festival Tennessee, the black veil was lifted. I could live again!

Not only was the wonderland going to have a water theme park, there were plans for two hotels with 4,000 rooms each, exquisite restaurants, a state-of-the-art sports complex with an NBA team — a project that would have brought more than 15,000 jobs to Maury County. As if this were not enough, there were also rumors that the Grand Ole Opry planned to relocate to the theme park. Then and there, this entire plan took on next to religious connotation.

I could already see myself there. White legs, swimming trunks, fish belly, cowboy hat, and all, I would be taking advantage of the nearest water ride and getting ready to hear some grand ol’ country music.

Yet, my elation was short-lived. Articles and news stories began to circulate about the legitimacy of the project. Facebook and Twitter pages popped up overnight poking fun at the entire plan. And as sudden as the news about the project emerged, it disappeared. Vanished. Poof!

Please do not get me wrong. I’m not trying to make a joke out of this at someone’s expense. I am truly disappointed. After all, I had already picked a name out for the NBA team — the Mules!

What? I liked it.

Regardless, Festival Tennessee had a short life, disappointing a great number, including myself. I could just see the new library Maury County was going to build with all of the tax revenues created by the theme park, restaurants, basketball team and roadside firecracker stand.

But, no. We still haven’t got a new public library in Columbia, and that is the most disappointing thing of 2011 and something Maury County should regret more than the loss of a theme park, the burning of the Institute, or the changing of the Culleoka mascot from the Blue Devils to the Warriors.

There is hope, however. It’s a new year. In 2012, we can make our dreams come true. We can start building that theme park or that new public library and since 2012 is a leap year, we have an extra day to get it done!

So, in the words of the imposter Southerner Larry the Cable Guy, let’s “get ‘r done” this year.

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